What if my husband earns less? We ask psychologists
The fact is that the form of family relations, when the wife earns more than her husband, does not have historical roots. This is a completely new trend. Because men are psychologically difficult to adapt to the new realities of life. Since the owner in the house has always been the one who feeds the family. The logic is clear: if you do not feed your family, which of you is the master? But if not the master, then who? And then psychologists warn that, as a rule, in families where women earn significantly more, men take on the role of a son. Judge for yourself if the wife feeds, how does she differ from the mother? Psychologically, a man begins to perceive his spouse as a mother. And with a mother, can there be a sexual relationship?
Therefore, in families where a woman earns more, there is often a sexual disorder. A man sexually cools down to a woman, and a woman, on the contrary, needs love, support and caress more than ever.From here quarrels, insults, misunderstanding. Solving such a problem is not so easy.
Psychologists claim that, according to statistics, the husbands of successful wives do not seek high earnings. And after 35 years, and completely give up. It is interesting that, despite the fact that the woman assumes the role of the breadwinner, she still has household chores. Not all men can come to terms with the fact that the spouse is more successful, many of the stronger sex on this basis develop complexes, and the spouse rebukes reproaches and barbs. What to do?
- NEVER emphasize that you earn more!
- Open a general account, where you will put your money, not knowing who and how much has contributed this month. This is GENERAL money!
- Plan large purchases TOGETHER! Well, that the new refrigerator or the machine did not become for him a surprise.
- Praise your spouse more often. Let's not develop its complexes!
- Some psychologists even advise women not to disclose the full amount of their income to their spouse. But, you see, it's not so easy to hide the purchase of a crocodile designer bag. It happens that a man can not in any way resign himself to his inconsistency, begins to assert himself through the humiliation of his wife and campaigns to the left.In the first case, if you wish, you can contact a psychologist, in the second - you will need a psychologist.
Well, now your questions:
Olga, 29 years old, St. Petersburg
It so happened that after my husband and I took a loan for an apartment, he and I lost my job. We worked in the same company. Find something with the same salary does not work. In general, our monthly salary is only enough to make a loan payment. Does not remain even for food. We live in debt. And this debt is growing. I'm on a constant nervaka. My hair began to turn gray. Relationship with her husband deteriorated. I do not know how to be. I did not think that I would be so hard going through financial difficulties. I was literally shaking. I got used to a certain level of life, and here I can not even afford to go for a manicure. In general, I can not afford anything. Help advice.
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