What to do if a man does not want to work?
In our modern world, a woman has long ceased to be a weaker sex. Yes, we always sought equality with men in all respects, and what did we get? A woman works with them on an equal basis, sometimes even performs the same physically difficult work as men, spends a full working day at the workplace, and then runs home to cook dinner, wash, tidy up the house, check the children’s homework, and, of course, you need to remember to caress your husband.
And with all this, the woman still needs to always remain attractive and well-groomed, and then suddenly her husband will go to another. And what is the role of men in the family? He must be a breadwinner to support his family financially. But some men do not even perform this one single function.
Yes, anything can happen: they have reduced their work or their business has gone bankrupt, but you should always not give up and try to find other options. Unfortunately, there are men who have this process is delayed not even for months, but for many years.
And we, women, are waiting and hoping all this time that everything is about to change and everything will be as before, and we continue to drag not only the household, but also the material support of the family on our fragile shoulders. And the husband at this time "all in suffering" watching TV and spends all the time on the couch.
If you are sick of it, then, first of all, you need to understand the reasons why your husband can not find a job. Maybe he just does not want to do this, and everything suits him? And what, the wife earns money, the household leads, and you lie on the sofa, have a rest - an eternal vacation, and you don’t have to think and worry about anything. If so, then it is necessary to drive such a husband out of the house and out of his life forever.
Never let a man sit on your neck.
But if your husband is not like this and everything suits you, except for the lack of work, then try to figure out what all the same is the cause of this problem. Not all women are ready to put up with the situation of constant shortage of money for a long time, so, in the end, the question arises, how to make her husband work?
In order to understand where to start you need to find out what are the types of non-working men, and to what type of type does your husband belong to?
- So, the first type - "sissy".This is a man, more often than not, with a weak temper, who is used to being watched over by everyone and everyone decides for him. Even if he previously had a job, then losing it, he will not rush to look for a new one. What for? After all, he and so everything suits. The wife works and that seems to him enough for a normal and comfortable existence. Since childhood, such a man has not become accustomed to be responsible for his actions, because his parents have always excessively protected him from any problems. And now he is trying to shift his responsibilities to the breadwinner on the shoulders of his wife, so that she is responsible for the material support of the family.
- The second type is “narcissus”. This is a man with high self-esteem, who loves only himself and believes that such an employee as he wants to get any company, giving him, of course, only a management position. In fact, everything is quite different. Most often, the real abilities and knowledge of the man do not correspond to what he imagines about himself. This immediately becomes apparent at the first interview. And of course, no one wants to hire such an employee. “Narcissus” considers it beneath his dignity to be exchanged for temporary work and to be a secondary worker, therefore he sits all day on the couch, in the hope that good work will find him.
- The third type is “swinging”. This is a man who is always going to do something for a very long time. This does not mean that he is not looking for a job, he just needs a lot more time for this. He must weigh everything, check and thoroughly approach the choice of a new job. It is rather difficult for such men to get used to everything new just because they are “stumpy”, i.e. long delve into everything. Therefore, a job search can take a lot of time, but in the end, it will once be crowned with success.
- The fourth type - "misanthrope." This is a man who constantly has difficulty in communicating with people because of his nasty character. He categorically does not like other people, and he does not want under any circumstances to come into contact with them. Now, practically you will not find work at which it would not be necessary to communicate with colleagues or clients. Therefore, it is very difficult for a misanthrope to find a suitable specialty. With such a person it is very difficult to establish at least some kind of business relationship, therefore employers try to avoid such workers. So he waits until his work is completely satisfactory. And this may not happen soon.
- The fifth type is melancholic. This is a very vulnerable man. He always takes everything close to his heart and remembers all the insults forever. Therefore, it is difficult for him to forget the unfortunate experience in past work, and for a long time he cannot decide to search for a new one. But when, nevertheless, it will be decided, the first unsuccessful interview here, and can for a long time dislodge it from the rut. And he will be looking for a new version for a very long time. Melancholic prefers to do nothing so as not to be subjected to new stress.
- The sixth type - "Alphonse". This is a man who initially did not work, and is not going to work. He is quite satisfied that his wife earns money, and he spends it for his own pleasure. He loves only himself and believes that the world revolves around him, and everyone else should provide it.
- And to a separate type can be attributed to men who can not find work due to circumstances beyond their control. For example, your husband's specialty is not in demand at the job market right now or he does not have enough experience and qualifications to take up a new position. Also the cause of failure may be age. Now it is increasingly possible to find ads in which they are looking for an employee not older than 30-35 years. And if your husband is over 30, then it’s hard enough to find a new job.
And what should a woman do in this situation?
To begin, you must speak frankly with your husband about how he sees the future of your family? If you have children, you should focus on this, you must show him that he is responsible for their future, that they need to eat well, dress, go to various sports clubs and clubs, and in the summer, be sure to send them to a health camp.
You must make it clear to your husband that the money you earn is not enough, and that you cannot do without his help. If you do not have children, then draw a beautiful future for your husband, a new apartment, car or a trip abroad, and say that if he doesn’t do anything further, then he will go on public transport all his life, and instead of going on holiday the sea - to lie on an old sofa.
You should find out from your husband what he is doing to find a new job, and why he does not want or can not find a suitable option? He must have iron arguments for you to believe. If you have doubts about his sincerity, then you have to take the situation into your own hands.
So, what to do if the husband does not want to work, and how to make him change?
For a man it can be very difficult to change the established way of life and the usual work.Therefore, the search for new vacancies invariably causes fear of uncertainty, what lies ahead. If your husband is out of work for only a short time, then try to support him and help cope with this difficult situation.
Always remind him of his good qualities, to increase his confidence in their abilities.
But if, after months and even years, your husband cannot find a job, and a frank conversation with him on this topic did not help, then you should proceed to action.
Begin to control the whole process of his job search. Up to the fact that they themselves buy newspapers with ads to the husband and select suitable vacancies for him if he himself has not yet been able to do this on his own. Check that he calls all and reported to you for each ad.
Also make a good resume with it and send it to different organizations, and you can also put it on the Internet at various labor exchanges. At least someone, but must respond. Then your husband will have nothing to do, how to go for an interview, and maybe it will be crowned with success.
This advice is suitable for men who themselves do not dare to take the first step - it is a melancholic, a misanthrope and “swinging”, it can also be used for other types.With your actions you can push your husband to change.
But if that didn’t help either, then let him with all his strength feel for himself what it means to be a “housewife”. Put all your household chores on him: let him cook, clean, wash, fiddle with children, and at this time you will make your career and make money.
And when you come home, you will strictly check the work done by him, and constantly point out his mistakes. If he is a normal man, then he will very quickly get tired of being a female housewife, and he will begin to search more diligently for a new job.
It is also a very effective method to get a husband to work — this is to completely deprive him of money. You should spend all the money you earned only on yourself and the children. No, of course, your husband should not die of hunger, but for all other needs, such as cigarettes, beer, clothes - he will have to ask you for money every time.
And you must refuse him. Yes, he can ask for money from his parents, but believe me, they will also get very quickly tired of supporting their adult son, and then they will take it together with you for his employment.In addition, not every man will like to be humiliated every time and ask for money from his wife to buy cigarettes.
This advice is suitable for men with high self-esteem - "daffodils" and "mama sons".
But the "Alphonse" can be very quickly brought to clean water. To do this, it is enough to let him know that you have started financial difficulties, and that in the future you will have to save on everything. Believe that this man, who is accustomed not to deny himself anything, will immediately run away from you. And in no case should you feel sorry for this. You deserve the best! And the Alfonso man is far from the best option!
But if you have already tried everything, and your husband stubbornly does not want to go to work, think about it, but do you need such a man? If years later, he never started to take care of you and the children, maybe this will never happen? And you still will drag the whole family around your neck, and in addition to the parasitic husband as well. Maybe it is worth asking him an edge “or let him settle for any work, or collect things and go away?” If this did not help, then it is better to part with this man forever.
And do not worry, you will definitely live without him, because all this time you yourself provided for your family without his help, but he will remain without work and without family.And you will have a chance to meet a real man, with whom you can feel like a weak but very happy woman.
We hope that our advice will help you, and you will not have to make such serious decisions and radically change your life. Dear women, love yourself and do not let anyone sit on your neck! You deserve the best!
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