• Idiocy is incurable. Doctors about the most stupid delusions of patients

    No matter how far science and medicine have gone, the population, alas, in most cases remains dark and dense. At least, any health worker will confirm this to you, remembering what absurd and absurd questions every second patient asks and what myths people stubbornly believe in. The Reddit portal asked doctors to recall the most unexpected questions and stories of dumb-eyed patients. With his own hands, publishes the most marasmic of them.

    “I had to explain to an adult that teeth should be cleaned from all sides, and not just the part that is visible when we smile. And yet, that dental floss is not a fad for rich people. ”

    "I convinced a 40-year-old woman that you should not try to whiten your teeth with a cleaning agent."

    “How can I get tired of explaining to people that they cannot sleep in contact lenses, and if they are worn for too long, they will have to be removed surgically.For God's sake, do not sleep in them! ”

    “Recently a patient was brought to us with a heart attack. I asked how long his chest pains continued, he replied that it was 12 months. I further asked if someone had a seizure in his family. It turned out that his father died of a heart attack and his brother died of a heart attack. With such heredity and pain in the chest, he did not even bother to undergo an examination during this time! I said he needed a good kick in the ass. Fortunately, the patient agreed to this. "

    “I am a paramedic. Once I took a woman to give birth in an ambulance and put the baby on the mother’s breast. I ask what name she will give him, and the mother replied: "I thought you had already called him!".

    “I work as a pharmacist. Once a woman called and began to complain that Viagra was not helping her husband. I began to explain to the lady that in order for the effect to take place, the patient needs some additional “stimulation”. The woman shouted in surprise: "My ?!" and hung up. "

    “Apparently, some people are strangely taught sex education. One patient was sure that you could get pregnant from the seat on the bus if a man was sitting there before you. ”

    “The patient was very surprised that the 30 or more cups of coffee that he drinks during the day are the cause of his anxiety and insomnia. He said that he was not ready to give up this habit and switch to decaf coffee. ”

    "The pregnant patient was absolutely sure that she would give birth to a boy, since she already had a daughter, and she believed that children are born strictly in the order of a girl-boy-girl-boy."

    "A 19-year-old patient came with a complaint of abdominal pain in the morning. He assured me that this continues throughout his life. I asked him questions, sent him to laboratory tests. It turned out that the pain always goes away as soon as he eats. He just woke up hungry, thinking it was pain. ”

    “A young girl with a very worried look told that the day before she and the guy were alone, and he satisfied her with her fingers. After that, she felt rapid heartbeat, weakness, she caught her breath. The girl was very worried that she had a seizure. I had to explain to her that no one had ever died of orgasm. ”

    "A friend-nurse told about an elderly patient who was prescribed candles. After a couple of days, he came back and said that he had become worse, but “those of your pills do not help”. He ate them! No one explained to him what to do with them. ”

    “My friend is a doctor.Somehow a couple came to see her. A woman complained about feeling unwell, and my friend, a doctor, asked if there was a chance that a woman was pregnant. The woman replied that this is out of the question, since she is taking birth control pills. A friend clarified whether she accepts them every day, to which she received an answer that she feels badly from them, therefore, sometimes a partner takes pills instead of her. ”

    Any doctor, even with little experience, has a dozen wild and funny stories from the practice, especially if the doctor is from Russia.


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