How to Be Chivalrous
How to Act Chivalrous
Back in the medieval period, chivalry was a code of conduct observed by knights both in and out of battle. The code of chivalry was founded upon the ideals of courage, honor, and loyalty. Hundreds of years later, the term is now used to describe behavior that is more commonly known as common courtesy. You can be chivalrous while dating, though some of the older rules have to be updated for modern times. You can also be chivalrous towards others, and modernize chivalry in your own way.
Being Chivalrous When Dating
Pay for dinner if you asked them out.Traditional rules governing who pays for dinner need not apply in modern times. However, if you ask someone on a date and they accept, you should be gracious and pay for the meal or activity. It shows that you appreciate them taking the time to meet with you.
Don’t ditch on a date.When you make an engagement to meet with someone, you should respect it. Chivalry is about honor and loyalty. In certain extreme cases, such as a family emergency, it’s acceptable to cancel the date and offer an alternate time. Don’t cancel because you feel tired or a more exciting event came up.
Open the car door for them.This holds true both when they’re entering and exiting the vehicle. Not only is it considerate, but it will communicate to them how special they are to you. Make this extra effort and you’ll stand out as a chivalrous date.
- The only exception to this rule is in the case of a taxi. Sliding across to the end of the backseat can be awkward. Take the lead and do this uncomfortable shuffle so your date can gracefully enter the cab.
Walk on the outside of the sidewalk.Go back a few hundred years, and this was done to prevent sewage from splashing a lady if it got splashed onto the sidewalk. Nowadays, it mostly guards your date from the splash of a puddle. In very rare situations, it will also protect them from a traffic incident since you’ll be the first to get hit. It shows that you care about their safety and wellbeing.
Extending Chivalry to Everyone
Open and hold doors.When people speak of modern chivalry, door-holding is often the immediate thought that pops into their heads. While holding doors open has become something of a cliché, it is still a valid expression of chivalry in modern times. You should not go out of your way--such as running ahead of somebody--just to open a door for them, as that can be seen as rude. However, when you open a door and someone nearby is about to use the door as well, be respectful and hold it open for them.
Offer your seat to someone else.The term chivalry often conjures up images of a gentleman pulling out a dinner table seat for the lady. However, this act of chivalry can be applied in a broader context. For example, if you are on the subway and there are no available seats, offer up your seat to someone else, like an elderly person, pregnant person, disabled person, or a parent with children.
Pay attention when someone speaks.Chivalry can be manifested in the form of putting someone else before yourself. There's nothing wrong with wanting to speak out and be heard, but try to listen and pay attention when someone speaks to you. Truly listening to someone can be a simple but effective way to show them respect.
Keep your promises.One of the foundations for chivalry is honor, and that means that you must not break your word. If you're asked to make a promise, do not agree unless you are willing to see it through.
Be considerate of people's thoughts and opinions.At one time, chivalry was thought to mean that men would have to take charge of everything, leaving women to follow. Nowadays, a man should not only allow a woman to voice her opinions, but should be ready to ask for them. On a more general level, when participating in an activity that involves people other than yourself, ask for their opinions when making a decision.
Separate chivalry and gender.Women, men, and nonbinary people can all be chivalrous and receive acts of chivalry. While traditional chivalry specifies certain conduct men should hold towards women, modern chivalry does not have to follow these old rules to the letter. Kind and thoughtful acts can be undertaken by anyone and received by anyone.
Don’t take rebuked acts personally.In modern times, chivalry means different things to different people. Where one person will be insulted when you hold the door open for them, another will be truly grateful. If a chivalrous act isn’t accepted, brush it off. Remember that being chivalrous is its own reward; you’re not doing it for recognition or appreciation.
Put your phone away.It’s incredibly rude to check your phone while having a conversation with somebody. While old chivalric ideals couldn’t have covered cellphone use, it’s easy to assume that chivalry and ignoring the other party in a conversation don’t mix. Keep your phone stashed away and put it on silent. Give your undivided attention to anyone you’re talking to.
QuestionHow can I be chivalrous and nice and respectful all at the same time?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerBeing nice includes being respectful and chivalrous. Basically, a kind person honors the men and women in his or her life, treats everyone with dignity, and does acts of kindness wherever possible.Thanks!
Video: ACTS OF CHIVALRY MEN NEED TO BRING BACK
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