How not to spoil your child?
Having appeared in the family, the child becomes, without exaggeration, its center. The desire to give the smallest person the maximum amount of attention, love, care and affection - these are normal, inherent in nature, instincts. In addition, at first the baby is very emotionally dependent on adults, so parents feel a great sense of responsibility for the full comfort of their child.
But sometimes mom and dad miss many important points, and stop noticing the boundaries, which in no case can not be crossed, because they certainly should be such an unpleasant phenomenon as spoiled.
From extreme to extreme
A spoiled child is always stressful for others and a huge problem for moms and dads, because re-educating a kid is not so easy. Psychologists say that at the age of 8 months a small person really needs a huge amount of attention and care, this is how he will feel safe. But upon reaching this age, parents should reconsider their line of conduct and make some significant adjustments to it.
But what are the reasons for this behavior of parents, which inevitably leads to pampered?
- Excessive custody. This phenomenon is quite frequent - I did not have time to sneeze, as someone immediately resorts with a thermometer to check whether he was ill, showed his finger on an expensive toy - the parents gave the last money, but bought it. As a result of this, a child has a clear understanding - “I am the center of the Universe, everything is possible for me, and I will achieve everything I need from adults.”
- Permanent employment. Such parents are constantly haunted by feelings of guilt, and they try to compensate for the lack of attention, first with toys, then with entertainment, and later with money, which the child can spend at their discretion. In this case, the baby first ceases to appreciate what they give him, and then accumulates anger, feeling himself abandoned. As a result, parents get a sophisticated egoist.
- Different views on education. A single line of the child’s relationship with adults should be supported by both moms and dads and grandparents. If parents forbid something, so should other adults. Otherwise, such differences become fertile ground for manipulation by the child.
What needs to be done so that the baby grows well-mannered and obedient, respects adults and gets along well with peers? Need to remember a few important rules.
- Sequential actions. Your every promise must be fulfilled, both good and bad. If you have promised to go to the park - do not forget; if you said you would punish for fighting on the court, do it. Do not give and frighten the child with empty promises, over time he will simply stop believing in it.
- Adequate measures. The system of values, punishments and other methods of education should be understandable for the child. He will be unaware of why he was punished for a week for turning the ground out of the pot, but for having struck another child, he was only threatened with a finger. Punishments should always be commensurate with gravity with wrongdoing.
- Praise. Of course, the punishment system should be, but also must exist and reward. In most cases, the child should get used to verbal praise, such approval is the most valuable, because the little person understands - the parents are on his side and will always support.
But what to do if adults have missed the moment when the child began to manipulate them? Of course, re-educate. It will not be possible to do this quickly, but by putting efforts and gathering nerves into a fist, anything is possible.
- First of all, remember who for whom should be an authority and recall the word "no." You should not use it everywhere, but failures should be, and the child should adequately perceive them. For this it is necessary to clearly argue each of them.
- Daily regime. Little dunters often refuse to clean toys, eat or swim, and parents sigh, they go on about. If you gradually introduce the regime of the day and do it all at a certain time, you will soon cease persuading and swearing.
- Limit the time watching cartoons and TV. Of course, it's convenient, the child is busy, and you can do your own thing. But such a line of conduct leads to serious disorders of the nervous system.
- Communication First of all it concerns parents. Any free time you devote to talking - on a walk, at home, on the way to a kindergarten or from school. The child will be happy to learn new facts about the world around him, as well as interesting stories related to you. Thus, adults become a personal example for their baby.
On the urgent question of "how not to spoil the child?" There is a fairly simple answer - to love him, to give attention and affection, but not to be allowed to become a small tyrant.Be patient and consistent in upbringing, and then your child will surely delight you with its success.
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