• 10 reasons to forget about perfectionism

    Are you a perfectionist? Congratulations! You may well change the world for the better. However, excessive demands on themselves may well spoil the quality of life and even harm health. In addition, in striving to achieve the ideal in all, we often forget about our true goals. But each of us just need to be happy.

    “Now perfectionism is more fashionable than ever,” sayspsychologist Irina Aleksashina. - More and more people are striving to achieve maximum results in any aspect of life. On the one hand, this is a great aspiration. Perfectionist women are extremely attentive to themselves, everything is perfect and laid out on shelves at work and at home. They are always expertly made up and dressed with a needle, attract men. However, the desire to be the best - a direct path to nervous exhaustion, problems with sleep and even depression. Is it important to be a clever clever girl? And if for this you have to give up all the pleasures of our mortal life and forever self-tortured, being unable to achieve the cherished, but absolutely unattainable goal.

    We want to be in time

    The endless race for the best does not only make us happier, but it can also ruin life. No need to strive to be sought after by a professional, an ideal wife and mother, otherwise you can quickly burn out.

    We do not know our true goals.

    Our current perception of reality is a complex tangle of childhood experiences. Unconsciously remembering how someone devalued our dreams for the sake of “right” goals, we are trying to fix something and make it perfect, we doubt the importance of our desires.

    You are aiming for unattainable perfection.

    Although perfectionism can be useful, more often than not it simply bothers us. We are trying to master the same task, spending time and energy, perfecting it endlessly. But in fact, these improvements are not worth it. It is worse only if we cannot proceed with the task, fearing a non-ideal result.

    We want to take into account absolutely everything and only lose time.

    In an attempt to take into account absolutely all the facts during planning, we only lose precious time. It is impossible to plan everything. Many situations are simply beyond our control: tardiness and resentment of colleagues and loved ones, colds, frivolous attitude of partners to work.

    We ignore the physiological nature of happiness.

    Man is first and foremost an animal whose body requires simple pleasures. We simply need sleep and food, physical activity and fresh air. Ignoring these needs is fraught with depression and health problems.

    You see the world only in black and white

    For perfectionists, there are two options for the path: correct or with errors. Opinions are also two - the right and cause for frustration. However, in reality, life is far from such ideas. Seeing everything in black and white, you are depriving yourself of the masses of interesting, because real life is full of bright colors.

    You do not tolerate mistakes and miss the experience.

    Because perfectionists are absolutely intolerant of mistakes, they miss the precious experience that comes with them.

    You have low self-esteem

    Perfectionists are always dissatisfied with themselves and literally create conditions in which it is almost impossible to have a normal self-esteem. Such people only criticize their shortcomings and do not appreciate what they managed to achieve.

    You have low performance

    According to psychologists John Dodson and Robert Yerkes, a person needs to be in the borderline between apathy and anxiety in order to achieve maximum results. This condition is characteristic of optimists who are able to accept their failures and fight.

    You do not feel the pleasure of the past

    For perfectionists, the main thing is the perfect result. They are not interested in the way in which they went to the goal and the time spent. And with this approach, the pleasure of life in the process of achieving goals is completely excluded. And the victory quickly becomes not interesting, because there is another super-important goal ahead.

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